This is a post for those who know what it’s like to stay up till 2 A.m. and have their body wake them up at 7 and they know they’re fucked and not going back to sleep. Those who feel life moving too fast and too slow at the same time. Those who know what they want out of life but just cannot fucking find out how to get there, no matter how many times they go over it. This is for those of us who all through out high school had a plan of exactly what they wanted to do and the way they wanted to do it, but now that we’re out and on our own living life, we’re not so sure what we want anymore. Sooooo pretty much everyone between the ages of like 18-25. That sound about right? Great lets continue.
You know what I’m talking about. Those days where you wake up and decide to take it easy and go hang out with friends. The sun is out and you’re out and about on the town having a good time. Then maybe you see something, hear something, or just for no reason at all you start to feel off, worry creeping around you. Like you need to be doing something productive right at this very moment. But you tell yourself “I’ve been working hard lately.” “I’ve gotten the things that need to be done for now done.” “I can take this time for myself and enjoy it”.
Yet that creeping feeling is still there and you start to feel lazy and useless and before you know it, your evening with friends is gone and your at home in your bed feeling useless, scrolling through whatever social media which is only making you feel worse. You try not thinking about the things you could be doing because you just want to relax, but you just keep running through the list in your head and its fucking exhausting. At some point days and weeks start to just blur together and you lose track of time which makes you feel even worse.
You’re constantly stuck between doing things you need to and taking time for yourself. The cycle goes on and on. Until one day it stops, and for a while you just do what you want. I’ll tell you why that happens. Because at some point you’ve hit a milestone. In all honesty it probably wasn’t even something you were really putting effort into accomplishing, but it happened and you finally start to feel like you’re catching up with life, and you can just finally stop trying so damn hard ALL THE TIME.
You don’t just stop giving a fuck all together, you still try towards your goals. But now your not so worried about whether or not your trying to improve your future. And that’s where the problem lies, because at some point, you start to feel like your falling again. But what you don’t realize is that, your not falling. Your so focused on your long term goals and that’s part of the issue. You’re the type of person who focuses more on the big picture rather than all the tiny details, that’s just the way you operate. You are always looking towards the end game, not realizing that those things take a long time.
So while your pushing towards those end goals, you start to feel lost, as though your just drifting through time because your goals seem so far away and you start to feel like maybe you’re not working towards them as hard as you should be. But I promise you this is just your brain playing tricks. You’re moving in your own time, and that is perfectly fine. You’ll still reach the result you want and you’re doing okay.